Loving Forgiveness

Pamela looked over at her mother, Phyllis, with a look of disbelief on her face.

“Before you say no and dismiss his request out of hand why don’t you come and at least listen to what he has to say to you,” Phyllis said to her.

“This man has disowned me my entire life. He threatened to disown his son, my father, if he didn’t leave you and marry as he had chosen. That coward abandoned us in fear of him. No, I don’t want to hear anything that he has to say,” Pamela retorted dismissively.

“Pam, what can it hurt? At least he can see what a strong, wonderful young woman you are,” Phyllis pleaded.

“Mamma, I’ve got more things to take care of than going to meet an angry old man who hated me my whole life because his weak-willed son married a woman he didn’t approve of and had a daughter rather than a son,” Pamela replied.

“You are definitely his granddaughter because you’re equally as stubborn as he is,” Phyllis said with a sigh of resignation. “I have to go, but please rethink your decision not to meet him?”

“Bye Mamma,” Pam said to her mother.

In her entire thirty-two years of life, she had never met her autocratic paternal grandfather. Her father stopped coming to see her after he divorced her mother at his father’s orders. She hadn’t seen her father since she was eight years old. In this span of time, she had married; given birth to a set of fraternal twins; and lost her husband to a missile attack in Afghanistan. She had worked her way through college, gotten a fantastic job and was living a good life until covid. The company barely survived and now would be closing at the end of the current month. She needed to find another job as quickly as possible. She didn’t have time to waste with a family that she hadn’t ever met and were shadow strangers to her. She didn’t want her children subjected to the cruelty of such hateful and judgmental people. Her husband’s family loved them unconditionally and she didn’t want them to be subject to the cold cruelty of her father’s family.

It hadn’t been a good day of job hunting. She had years of experience and education in her field, but the companies that she had applied to for employment weren’t willing to pay her a comparable salary commiserate with her experience and education. She decided that it was time for her to practice what she had been taught at her spiritual center. She had been taught how to pray believing and she truly did believe that God answered prayers. She decided to call her prayer counselor who was also her best friend. With a smile, she dialed the number of her friend, Marie to see if she had time to talk with her.

“This is Marie Wagner,” came the voice of her best friend.

“Hi, Marie. It’s Pam,” Pamela identified herself.

“Hi Pam, what’s up?” Marie asked her.

“Nothing much. I just need prayer about finding the perfect job for me,” Pamela explained to her.

“And what else? I can hear something else in your voice,” Marie told her.

“You know me too well. My mother was by my home today. Would you believe that after thirty-two years my paternal grandfather wants to meet me? Why? It can’t be anything good,” she explained to her friend.

“Why can’t it not be something good? Maybe he wants to apologize for his behavior and ask for forgiveness,” Marie countered.

“Not him! I had to read about the death of my father in the newspaper. When I called the funeral home, his secretary called me back to inform me that I would be barred from the funeral service. I didn’t even make an inquiry when my half brother died a couple of years later in an auto accident. All of that took place over ten years ago. So no, I don’t believe he’s seeking forgiveness,” Pamela explained to Marie.

“But you won’t know until you meet and talk with him,” Marie said.

“Then you think I should ignore all these years of denial of my existence and see him?” Pamela inquired.

“Only if you want to do so, but you may regret not giving him an opportunity to ask for your forgiveness,” Marie replied.

“I’ll think about it,” Pamela said and ended the call.

Pamela stood outside the hospital room door with her mother. She wasn’t certain that this was where she wanted to be, but she had promised that she would hear what he had to say. She walked into the room and looked over at the rather frail man in the bed with what seemed like miles of tube attached to him.

“You look like your grandmother, my dear wife,” he stated to her.

“Really,” was her one-word comment.

“I’ve created a great deal of misery and anger during my lifetime. I had my people investigate you and you are everything that your father and his son were not,” he told her.

“Investigate me?! Why? You had thirty-two years to meet and get to know me,” Pamela said to him indignantly.

“True, true. Something that was one of my mistaken deeds,” he agreed with her.

“Then why did you want to see me?” she asked.

“I don’t want to die without apologizing to you for all the years that I was too stubborn and arrogant to admit that I had no right to destroy your parents’ marriage and leave you without a father. I won’t ask for forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. It’s a too late to say I’m sorry, but I have had time to ponder my life and I have been successful only in making money and nothing else,” he explained to her.

“Forgiveness is a right given us by God. You can forgive yourself and I can also forgive you because that
forgiveness is for myself as well,” Pamela said.

“Thank you,” he said to her.

Pamela felt as if a cloud had been lifted from her life. Marie had been right in advising her to see him. As she stood at her desk, she saw that she had a message on her phone. She listened to it and felt even greater joy enter her heart. She was being offered the job that she desired at even more money than she had sought. God was good and forgiveness was a blessing.