Insistent Markers

When these two things appeared in my life, they were not yet markers nor were they insistent.
They were memorable though. When I was 14, I decided to attend Baltimore City College High
School because of its amazing music program. I was on my way to becoming first chair
trumpet in a major symphony orchestra. I attended Peabody Institute of Music and learned
piano and music in general. During this time I began reading Dante, Buddhist texts because I
was hungry for knowledge.
Once I graduated high school, my life went downhill very fast. I attended University of
Maryland as a music education major because I did not get into the schools of my choice.
Even though Dartmouth was willing to accept me, I arrogantly turned it down. How could they
have a decent program? They threw me out of U of M for many reasons. I really went down
hill now. At the same time, I still wanted a college degree. After 5 colleges, I finally got a
psychology degree from Antioch College.
During these years, the Lutheran church marker began appearing - I was not conscious of it
then, but I took “Bible as Literature” and I read Nietzsche, Hartmann and Heidegger in upper
level philosophy courses at Colorado State University. Even though I had never took the
Philosophy Intro course, they let me in, probably because I was so eager. This was the marker
trying to reach me in consciousness.
After a year in Colorado, I returned to Baltimore. I got invited to be part of a band which played
for a massive healing service on the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. The experience was
amazing. Again I saw light and felt great warmth, but I was not aware that this was a marker.
By now, I had all but stopped playing trumpet. I had decided to become a jazz pianist. You
can bet I was thinking about trumpet. The first appearance of the trumpet as marker was when
other musicians would remark at the “horn lines” I improvised on the piano. I did not recognise
it as a marker then, but the thing that plays the music, my soul, was playing trumpet lines
through my fingers on the piano.
These markers became insistent when I began to feel sensations such as tingling and heat in
my stomach or mind. I ignored them and ignored them and ignored them. Shortly after
relocating to Los Angeles, I accepted a job as a musician at a CGIC Church in South Central
Los Angeles. Although I did not recognise this as a marker, I loved the music and the feeling I
got. Then I began playing piano for Unity Churches in LA. Ahiah CSL hired me as music
Director about 12 years ago. After a couple years, I took the Foundations Class. When the instructor asked if we had any Spiritual.experiences like seeing light, I immediately
remembered my first marker from some 50 years ago! Next I took the Visioning Class and all
the rest until I became a licensed practitioner. This marker became insistent to the point that
only when I honoured it by finishing these studies, would it no longer insist. Right now, it is
trying to get me to do more, like become a Minister or get an MA in consciousness studies.
The trumpet marker is another story. It would appear in my mind every few years, ultimately
compelling me to buy a new trumpet. Even then, I did not recognise this as an insistent marker.
It would tease me into playing for a few days, weeks, etc., but then I would abandon it. Then,
one day, at a recording session, the artist suggested we record the song Besamé Mucho.
Even though I had not played the trumpet for months, I picked it up and played the intro to the
song. I will never forget the artist’s reaction. His eyes lit up, he said “Yes, trumpet”! That was
a short 3-4 years ago.
During Covid, I bought a record player and played along with all my albums. Then, all my
tapes and cds, I affirmed that I would emerge as a trumpet player who plays piano
simultaneously. When I made this affirmation, I saw my image in gold and red. I will never
abandon the trumpet again. I honor my spirituality by expressing it through music and words.
Trumpet is the portal through which my life flows. I allow and recognise Spirit as She pulls me
up to my greatest good.
The Thing that is not a marker, the only Thing, is God, that which flows through all in eternity.
That Thing is God. I am that thing, you are that thing. When I claim that I Am, I instantly
recognise and unify with God. I affirm the presence of God as all knowing, in all, and as all
powerful.