The word “Resentment” comes from the Latin root word, “SENTIRE” meaning “to feel”. The Prefix “RE” means “again”. So a resentment is a memory of something from the past that we have judged as wrong and everytime we think of it, we feel it again. And when we feel it, stress builds up in our mind, body, and conscioussness, sending a wave of discordant energy into our communities and the world.
Withholding forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the person who hurt us will die. In August of 2019 Ahiah Practitioner Lake Payne and I co-faciliated the workshop Forgiveness: Your Key to Freedom for the Ahiah Beloved Community.
Someone asked at that workshop, “But why should I forgive someone, especially if they are not sorry for what they’ve done?”
In the workshop, we explored several truths about Forgiveness to clear up any misconceptions about this spiritual practice.
• Forgiveness is for you and not the offender – Since we are all One, when healing happens anywhere, it happens everywhere. For something to be healed, it must be revealed. Often we mask our hurt behind anger and resentment, hurting ourselves even more.
• Forgiveness is taking back your power – Why allow someone to live in your head rent-free? Often the offender is living their life oblivious to the hurt you feel. This means we have given another the power to steal our joy.
• Forgiveness is taking responsibility for how you feel – Saying to the Universe that“I’m Upset Because…” is robbing yourself of good living time that you could be enjoying your life in spite of external circumstances. Within you is the key to freedom and living a life of being happy, joyous and free.
• Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health – as Deepak Chopra teaches us in the course Radical Healing , “Stress prevents us from accessing the software of our innermost being” which can bring us extraordinary peace, health and well being.
• Forgiveness is a choice - It is exercising Dominion in your own consciousness. We can choose to set ourselves free or to imprison ourselves for a lifetime, condemning what has already happened and reliving the hurt everytime we think of it. Eckhard Tolle says in the book The Power of Now that “Stress is a split that tears you apart inside. That terrible feeling of stress, frustration and anxiety is your body telling you that something is wrong .”
Basically, withholding forgiveness is to believe that you need a different set of external circumstances before you can be happy, thereby holding ourselves hostage to hurt.
Some people continue to hit themselves in the head with the hammer because it feels so good when they stop!
But the Truth is you have the power to change the past - simply by changing your mind about it right now.
You have the power to accept what happened. To acknowledge the hurt and what you wanted from that person or situation. Acknowledge that you trusted them and did not get your needs
You have the power to grant yourself compassionate self-forgiveness for any part you may have played in the circumstance. Simply take a moment to turn within, place your hand over your
heart. Think of a person who you love, someone who loves you. Then say to yourself as you allow this feeling of Love to well up inside of you, “I forgive myself for judging myself as…(insert whatever judgment you may have)” or "I forgive myself for not listening to my intuition” or whatever you feel you may have done or not done to allow the situation.
Finally, take some quiet time to mine the gold from that experience and tell yourself what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown from what happened. Bless the situation and the person(s) involved.
Forgiveness is a spiritual practice. It repairs the lost connection to the spiritual software of our Soul. It becomes more of a way of life as we deepen in our practice of it. Upon awakening each day, practice compassionate self-forgiveness and give the whole world a forgiveness pass. Forgive everyone for everything, every day.
Remember the love that the Divine Mother has for you as her child, and know that there is nothing you could ever do for Her to deny the love that you are.
You are here for the love of the Divine to make Itself known. Forgive often, early and daily. You will find that the poison of resentment has transformed into the Medicine of Love which you can now share with the Beloved Community of the planet.
Be sure to join us in the Ahiah Zoom room for the next installment of Radical Healing on the last Friday of the month.